Oojah-ka-Piv
The people who live
On the Oojah-ka-Piv
Stand around in bundles of nine
When asked how it feels
They reply ‘Curried Eels’!
Otherwise - everything’s going fine!
Spike Milligan
Sounds like my Mother
Dr. Hare’s Sociopathic Traits Checklist
- GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM - the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, slick, and verbally facile. Sociopathic charm is not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. A sociopath never gets tongue-tied. They have freed themselves from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example.
- GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH - a grossly inflated view of one’s abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. Sociopaths are arrogant people who believe they are superior human beings.
- NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM - an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Sociopaths often have low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because they get bored easily. They fail to work at the same job for any length of time, for example, or to finish tasks that they consider dull or routine.
- PATHOLOGICAL LYING - can be moderate or high; in moderate form, they will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever; in extreme form, they will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest.
- CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS - the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item #4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one’s victims.
- LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT - a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and un empathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one’s victims.
- SHALLOW AFFECT - emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.
- CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY - a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless.
- PARASITIC LIFESTYLE - an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.
- POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS - expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.
- PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR - a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.
- EARLY BEHAVIOR PROBLEMS - including lying, theft, cheating, vandalism, bullying, sexual activity, fire-setting, glue-sniffing, alcohol use, and running away from home.
- LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS - an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.
- IMPULSIVITY - the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.
- IRRESPONSIBILITY - repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.
- FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS - a failure to accept responsibility for one’s actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.
- MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS - a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.
- JUVENILE DELINQUENCY - behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.
- REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE - a revocation of probation or other conditional release due to technical violations, such as carelessness, low deliberation, or failing to appear.
- CRIMINAL VERSATILITY - a diversity of types of criminal offenses, regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them; taking great pride at getting away with crimes.
This is a story of courage, honour and worms.
War had cast a shadow over their once peaceful land, gunfire filled the air, as worm turned against worm. Where so many had fallen, others knew they must follow. For one such worm, this day had alredy come, when he was two, his father had left, never to return. Three years he had waited for his chance to fight, three years of training, both day and night. And though he was scared as he set off for battle, he knew in his heart that it was something he must do. Three inches tall, and armed to the teeth, a fine soldier he made, and his name was Boggy B.
[Chorus]: We are worms, we’re the best, and we’ve come to win the war We’ll stand, we’ll never run, stay until it’s done Though our friends may fall, and our world be blown apart We’ll strike with all our might, We’ll fight for what is right till the end.
Scrambling up a hill and hiding behind a tree, he looked at the battle that raged below. It was there he saw his friend Spadge, stood upon a bridge but another worm had also seen him, and aimed to have him dead Boggy called to Spadge, but Spadge didn’t hear, he never knew what hit him, as he flew into the air. It was all to much for Boggy, as he watched his best friend die. Charging down the hill he had to have revenge, What had Spadge done to come to such an end? Reaching the bottom of the hill, Boggy suddenly heard a click he realised to is terror there was a mine under his tail!
[Chorus]
We are worms, we’re the best, and we’ve come to win the war We’ll stand, we’ll never run, stay until it’s done Though our friends may fall, and our world be blown apart We’ll strike with all our might, We’ll fight for what is right till the end.
Hitting several cliffs and landing in a tree, Boggy pulled himself together, there was much he had to do. Spotting the enemy down below, he knew this was his chance. Boggy grabbed a stick of dynamite and dropped it on his head. The enemy, he tried to run, but all he could really do was squirm. As the fuse ran out there was a mighty *BANG*!, and everywhere were bits of worm. With their leader blown to kingdom come, the enemy, they turned and ran! Boggy bungeed from the tree and landed safely on the ground. As he watched the enemy squirm away, the cry went up: ‘WE’VE WON THE WAR!’
Positive Drug Story
Today in 1994 a great man passed away. R.I.P. Bill Hicks
“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we’re the imagination of ourselves. Here’s Tom with the weather.”
Im not a very nice person
I think I am way nicer than I actually am. I make myself out to be an incredibly honest, nice person who never upsets anyone, but this isnt true. I lie, I cheat, I am just very careful to do so without anyone seeing. A very good friend of mine once said “Your problem is you want everyone to like you” and this is so true. My intentions are never bad, I dont set out to upset people, quite the opposite, I just sometimes lead people to believe I am not the person I really am. Maybe we all do this, maybe the only true salvation is to stand up, put your hand up and say “Yeah, i can be a cunt, I’m human, get over it”
